Game changer

I went to a basketball game tonight to support Nicara. I knew nobody goes to the games, however I had no idea the amount of impact it would have not on her, but also on the team. One player told me showing up proved that someone believed in them besides their parents. Someone WANTED to be there by choice. It's crazy how you can change the lives of others just by doing a nice gesture. Although we lost the game, we won in the long run. We got our confidence back and I got the opportunity to impact someone. I have a feeling going to love basketball!!....

From the lines of my diary

Feelings overwhelming, stirring in my mind. I feel freer but still holding back. The hardest part is admitting to myself how distant I have gotten from you, family, everything. It's crazy how the little things in life can still you and how unimportant the others things are. I know I have needed this- to feel free released. I'm ready now for change and it's going to feel amazing. This will bring me back to the ones I love. This is going to be good for me and make me stronger. I have a feeling everything's going to be alright!

Slipping through my fingers

The whole college process is so overwhelming. The reality is that I fell out of love for a college. Of course this would happen to me. Just when I fall out of love for a school, my parents fall head over heels. Why do you ask? Becasuse they really want me. They are giving me many opportunities and such. I know I should be happy, but I can't, knowing my dreams are slipping away. And this school does not compare moneywise. I'm usually a just go with it kinda girl. Thinking about the future is freaking me out. It used to just be an idea; a dream. Now it actually matters. I have to know what I want. I only get one shot, so I have to make it right.

Hard work doesn't always pay off

Midterm week. Last few moments to cram all of the ideal information into your brain before you take the test. Cram- that's the key or is it not. I realized I put all my energy into trying to ace the midterms I neglected my family.. And I got called out for it. But I was always told this is the deal breaker. You have to do well, so colleges will still want you. I have enough stress in my life, to hear that didn't help. I guess I won't be surprised if I do poor. Karma is on my family's side and I don't feel too good. I feel the anxious butterflies in my stomach and also just really low. I suppose, we shall find out tomorrow.

I hate a boy who likes kittens

I am disgusted and enraged. The level of disrespect that this generation has for girls is unbearable. To be called a name such as a pussy is degrading and flat out disrespectful. A term that men use for a prostitute or a toy. It is amazing how men think they "own" women. After being called that, I honestly feel morally and physically disrespected. Some guys are jerks and I will not stand for that again. I may be the one who is more like a guy because I have the balls to stand up for myself. If he continues he will never know the experience one can achieve being in a stable relationship with a person. Sucks to be him.

Reality check-part 2

It is already midterms... Geez. Half way done with senior year. Momma always told me to hold onto each moment and treasure it. She wasn't kidding! I wondered how different life will be when I leave. I am going to miss Lindsay and Nicara so. Those girls are my life! Gosh so many crazy times with them! They are like my sisters, especially Nicara. Nicara gets me on a different level. She can connect to me in family style and she has gone through same situations as me. She can look at me and know what I am thinking. That is a true friend! I will definitely miss her, but also my "sister" Lindsay. We have gone through everything together. We have been friends since we were 7 and plan on staying friends until we either get sick of each other or grow old and die. We were stuck at the hip and college is the first time my other half of me will be gone. Before we part our ways, we must share one more special moment together. Graduation night.

Reality check- part 1

Back to school. Reality check: the end of this week starts midterms. Great! We were told to write a soliloquy based off of Hamlet's "to be or not to be" speech. So I wrote mine about the conflicting feelings I have about college. I never realized how crazy and emotional as well as stressful senior year would be.  I am thankful I wrote this speech, because it opened my eyes to what my future holds. I now know where I want to go. I just have to figure out how exactly to get there. Like I always say... Just go with it and see where it takes you.

Let's go Miami Heat!

So the basketball game was amazing and a once in a lifetime experience. We got to practice on the Nets NBA court before the game. We later got pretty up close and got autographs from Mike Miller and saw Dwayne Wade and Lebron James. The crowds' energy was amazing and definitely something I will never forget. It was also great to share the experience with my best friend, Nicara. Maybe senior year isn't as bad as I thought... :)

Work, stress, basketball

So yesterday, I had work. It was tough and I got stressed. Then we closed early and I heard my dad yelling all the way home and this morning. You never want to hear the words "rude, ignorant, bitch" coming from your dads mouth. It's terrible! I don't know if we will ever be on the same page. Sometimes I wish it was college already and I could just run away and not look back. Today I can because I am going to a basketball game in NewJersey.